International Women's Day: What Strong Women Taught Me and What We Owe Each Other

Today is International Women's Day. And I'm spending it thinking about the women who shaped me.

My grandmothers were independent before independence was celebrated. They didn't have a hashtag or a movement — they just lived with a kind of quiet, unshakeable strength that I absorbed without realizing it. They worked hard, raised families, held things together, and never once that I saw made themselves small for anyone.

My mother carried that same strength forward. So did my sisters — even through the years we weren't speaking, even through the complicated seasons that families go through. Strong women find their way back to each other. We did.

My father raised daughters who knew their value. That matters more than most people acknowledge.

And the women I've collected along the way — friends, colleagues, women who believed in me and showed up for me — they are part of who I am too.

On International Women's Day I want to be honest about what I think women owe each other.

We owe each other our support when no one is watching. It's easy to celebrate a woman to her face. The real test is what you say about her when she's not in the room. That's where loyalty lives. That's where genuine support shows up.

We owe each other freedom from judgment. Women make different choices. About careers, families, relationships, bodies, politics. None of us has the full picture of another woman's life. Cheering for women means cheering for their right to choose their own path — even when it's different from yours.

We owe each other honesty about what's happening. Iowa has passed some of the most restrictive reproductive legislation in the country. Across the United States women's rights have been rolled back in ways that have real consequences for real women. There is a cultural current right now — loud and growing — that wants women back in narrowly defined roles and frames that limitation as liberation.

I don't believe most Iowa women want that. I believe most Iowa women — regardless of party, regardless of background — want to be treated as full human beings with the right to make their own choices.

But wanting it isn't enough. We have to say so. We have to support the women around us. We have to refuse to tear each other down at the exact moment when solidarity matters most.

I am proud to be an Iowa woman. I am proud of every woman who raised me and every woman who walks beside me.

Today and every day — support the women in your life. Speak well of them. Show up for them. And pay attention to the world they're inheriting.

I wrote an extended version of this piece on Medium — you can read the full article here. I also sent a personal letter to my Substack subscribers — read that here.

Rebecca Nicole Schweitzer is a Des Moines, Iowa writer and community advocate. Find her on Medium, Substack, Pinterest, and X.